Thursday, September 24, 2009

Acts of Service

This is the 4th part of my brief summary from Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages. I can recommend this book for anyone who wants to improve their relationship with their partner. For my husband and I it gave us a whole new way of expressing our love for eachother.

Number 4: Acts of Service – What Have you Done for me Lately?

Could Acts of Service be the primary way in which you wish to receive love? Does this love language speak louder to you than the others? Do you feel that 'actions definitely speak louder than words'? In this case, acts of service likely ranks higher on your love language list than say, words of affirmation. You may somewhat feel that 'talk is cheap,' but your partner or mate can show you they love you by checking the windshield washer fluid in your car and your tire pressure.

And just as this group feels loved when things are done for them, they convey love in the same manner by doing the laundry, fixing things around the house, and making nice meals. If your partner is constantly doing things for you, don't start taking it for granted. Show that you appreciate it and that you recognize that it's their way of saying "I love you!"

If you suspect your loved ones primary love language is acts of service, look for opportunities to help them and do things for them. This will make them feel so loved by being taken care of!
"Life is filled with opportunities to express love by acts of service," Dr Chapman states.

If you suspect that your own primary love language is acts of service and your mate does not speak this loudly enough to you, teach them about it. Perhaps you could identify some things they could do for you? Gently make some suggestions, but remember it has to be freely given on their part to be an act of service. Acts of service are done out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that they don't necessarily enjoy. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate. Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort and energy. Doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Please follow me the next couple of days. On Friday I will post about the last Love Language: Physical Touch. I'll follow up with a personal post about how my husband and I figured out our love languages and a great Giveaway!


Sarah said...

Thank you so much for your summaries - I will most certainly pop back for more reading!! I'm also just popping by from SITS to wish you a wonderful day!

MaryRC said...

i do love it when my husband mows the lawn an picks up dog poop and fixes the car... the chores he never does.. LOL im not kidding either i do love it!

Kris said...

It's so true... we definitely need to help each other out!

Gracie said...

This is wonderful,it was a while back that I and Mr.B took the course,so to have this refresher is great! For me, acts of service is my love language.
Mr B's is words of affirmation,something that does not come easily to me,but once I started to see the affect it had on my husband and how it improved our relationship,its worth every word.To fill his tanks with his love language...took time for me to develop and even learn,today I feel free to express word's of affirmation and edification, that it comes from a heart of love and thankfulness.
Excellent post!

Amy said...

This was very interesting. Thanks...

Regina said...

Wonderful post!

Lois Lane II said...

What a good thought. My life is so crazy right now that often my husband gets put on the back burner. =( And that's not good for either of us!!

Nikki said...

Stopping by from SITS to say hi! Wow this is such a great and sometimes confusing topic. My husband and I have been married for a year this weekend, and I love him very much. With that said, I do most of the chores around the house, while he does things like take out the garbage, driving us most places and makes most of the money for bills etc, and is so sweet to take me out to dinner about once a week or two. I think I work better with the word love, if he just did chores for me and didn't say how he felt, I would think he was just doing chores and doing them for me. He is the same way I think, as he asks me to stop doing chores alot and to just sit with him and watch tv...and I usually do but then am stuck rushing around doing chores at the wrong times. I guess we just need to budget time better. anyways great blog!!! I'm following you now!

Catharina Maria said...

Oh I forgot to say that I love Norway !
Love Rini

Catharina Maria said...

Love your yummy post , i will have one ;0)
I love all the sweet things .
Love from the Netherlands Rini

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