Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Giving and Receiving Gifts

Until you get your hands on the Five Love Languages book, you can read my brief summaries of the Love Languages that I'm posting this week. Hopefully it will get you thinking about communicating your love in the way that your partner will best perceive it.

The Five Love Languages that Dr. Chapman describes in his book are: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service.

Which one is yours and which one is your partner’s? Chances are they are totally different.

Even with the best intentions and the highest desire to show true love to your partner, you will miss the boat and deplete their "love tank" if all you do is speak your love language rather than theirs.

Gifts – A Commonly Misunderstood Love Language

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

People who feel loved and appreciated by getting exactly what they want for their birthday will feel disappointed if you forget to buy them something. They might also get hurt if they get a gift that's thoughtless. Gift giving is a very sincere form of communicating one's love and admiration, and should not be thought of as mere materialism. These people love to browse the stores and find the perfect gift for the people they love as a sign of their affection. They want the same in return.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.
What is most important to them is the thought that you have put into the gift, not the price.


Kris said...

I'm all about the thought... it doesn't matter how much was spent! :o)

Chic Mama said...

Oooo- interesting. I always think about the gift. I think it's the thought that counts.

ItsKelly said...

Love your posts on these topics. It's funny, because quality time is so important to me, yet I would guess that giving and receiving gifts is my husband's #1 love language. Not only in receiving, but he loves to give gifts. He goes all out. This really helped me understand that better.

Amy said...

Lately we have been getting gifts we both can use together. Like a CD or other things we can share with each other.

Darcie said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! Looks like you have a fun place over here to come back and visit!

I first read this book about 5 years is amazing! I will enjoy reading your future post about it, and refreshing my mind.

MaryRC said...

so much truth here, thanks for sharing. thanks for dropping by Shaking the Tree via SITS..

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