Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Quality Time

Are you speaking your mate's Love Language?

Do you know how to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, love and commitment that will resonate in your partner's soul?

Each person expresses and receives love best through one of five different communication styles. Of course we receive love in all the languages, but which one is perceived in the clearest and loudest voice?

Use the right Love Language and your message of love will come through loud and clear. You can read more about the five love languages in my two previous posts. I also recommend Dr Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages.

The second of the Love Languages is what we refer to as "Quality Time".
Quality Time is time focused on something that the person whose language this is feels is important. For example, a man who wants to spend quality time with his wife and children might want to spend the day watching a ball game or going to the park. Just the fact that he is spending his time with them tells them that they are valuable to him.

Some partners might want quality time together that is as simple as talking while they wash dishes or organize a closet. Watching movies together, eating dinner in a restaurant, going for a long walk, sitting on a porch swing, and going to the mall are all forms of spending quality time together. Make sure that you suggest doing something that your partner actually enjoys. (She might not be that excited about going to the Monster Truck show on your anniversary...)

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT spending quality time with her. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

If your mate's primary Love Language is Quality Time, they will easily feel hurt and rejected if you do not prioritize spending time with them. Their "love tank" will eventually go empty and they will not be able to meet your needs. In order to show each other love and affection, there has to be a surplus in our own lives.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

In tomorrow's post I will share about the 3rd Love Language: Giving and Receiving Gifts.


The Fifth Street Mama said...

I am a quality time gal. Gifts don't hurt now and then either though :)
Thanks for hopping over to my blog and leaving a comment :)

Dreamgirl said...

You're just like me then:-)

Bonnie said...

Excellent book, I have read this one and the one for kids.

Thanks for stopping by for a visit at my blog today.

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