Thursday, August 20, 2009

I was given a gift


I have always been a daddy's girl. Even as a little girl my dad was my very first love affair. He was the most handsome man I knew. I proclaimed confidently that I was going to marry him when I grew up. My mom could stay on as a housekeeper, and she would have to sit in the backseat of the car. As I became a teenager, that crush faded of course. But he still remained my closest confidant. I told him about the first time I got drunk. I told him about my first kiss.

And when I became a young woman I relied on his guidance in the most important decisions in my life. Even now as a mother and wife, my dad still has a very special place in my heart and in my life. He has taken me to fabulous places like Rome, Venice, Barcelona and London. He is the one that loves to shop and brings me along for those great shopping sprees. He gives me advice and encourages me to reach my goals. He is more than just DAD, he is my FRIEND.

13 years ago my mom died of cancer. It was heartbreaking for me and my dad. How was life going to go on without her? But it did. Time heals most wounds and we found a way to move on. If anything it brought us even closer together. Then two years ago we got the terrible news that my father had prostate cancer. A year of intense treatments, fear, hope, pain and buckets of tears followed. What a joy when we received the message that he was cancer free!

And so time went on.

This summer the news of his relapse hit me like a ton of bricks. How could it be? The doctors told us that the prognosis for prostate cancer is good as long as it hasn't spread to the bones. But for a year my dad had had terrible pain in his legs and lower back. The fear totally overwhelmed him. Me too, but I tried so hard not to let it show. I kept on encouraging him, telling him that he would be fine. At night I would sniffle into my pillow and pray.

Last week he took the much dreaded test: a bone scan. It would reveal if the pain he was suffering meant that the cancer had spread. It would mean the difference between life and death.

And so we waited...

How can I describe this week? I don't think I can. Balancing on the edge of a cliff just waiting for the news that would push me over. At work and at home I tried to put up a brave face. When no one was looking I would hide in the bathroom and just cry! If I was alone at my desk I would put my face down in between my arms and sob. Then drying off the tears and running down to my teenage students for another lesson. It was a week that lasted a month. My dad was without any hope and he was terrified. So was I.

Yesterday we got the results. The cancer had not spread. The doctor told him that he will be able to live with this for many years. Good years!

So the gift I was given was TIME. Time with my dad. And for that I'm eternally grateful.

36 comments:

Kelly said...

This was very touching. Time is such a precious gift. I have a close friend going through this right now with her dad. His cancer has spread to his bones. I cry with her often- at work, over the phone, whenever she needs it. And everytime I have to immediately go call my dad. I hope you have many many more years with him.

Dreamgirl said...

Thank you Kelly!

Chrisy said...

I'm so pleased that this horrible nightmare is over for you all...what you went through with your Mum would have made this time even scarier...

kozgirl said...

wow. i had no idea you were facing all of this. i am so glad for you to hear good news about your dad. my prayers are with you as i lay down to sleep tonight. hugs.

ForDGRedial said...

Crikey sweetie, my eyes are full of tears and my throat has that horrible lump thing going on...oh and I'm at my desk at work!! I am so pleased you have that gift and can make more incredible memories together. I too am a daddy's girl...I can only dare to imagine a tiny glimpse of how hard it must be. Positive thoughts times a zillion to you both x

caren said...

What a wonderful post with a wonderful ending! I lost my Dad 8 years ago and my Mom 13 years ago....it is devastating. I remember crying into my pillow at night too. I am so happy for you and your dad that things have turned out so well!!!

y u l z said...

happy to hear he's doing fine

Nooria said...

Åh stakkers deg så vondt! Jeg er lei meg for å høre dette. Håper virkelig dere får mange gode år sammen!

Les Cotrions said...

Very touching post! I'm very happy that your father's cancer hasn't spread! I lost my father for a brain cancer 15 years ago and it's horrible! Enjoy him and don't waste the time we are together!
Big hugs
Vale

mi-rachel said...

så glad på din vegne!

Nora Johnson said...

This was so touching; I know the anguish you've been through only too well. I do hope you have many more blessed years with your lovely father.

Have a good weekend!

xxLola & Nora:)
PS glad you enjoyed the visit! See you next Thusday for the continuation...!
PPS Am yr newest follower!

M said...

Å Drømmejenten! Nå ble jeg rørt til tårer!
Stakkars deg, det er tøffe dager når man får et sånt budskap. Dager i skjokkartet tilstand, forferdelig å konsentrere seg om hva som er viktig der og da.
Veldig glad på dine vegne!
Og imponert over pappa`en din, som har hørt på dine betroelser. Det er ikke alle forunt å ha et så godt forhold!
Og tusen takk for de fine ordene til meg. Jeg er så glad for at du finnes her inne på skjermen min. Og en vakker dag møtes vi kanskje!
Ha en fiiiiiiiiiiiiiin fredag!
klem,M

angelcel said...

I'm so pleased for the both of you that he received good news. You're lucky to have such a smashing Dad and I must say that he's lucky too, to have such a loving daughter.

ymK said...

I love the pictures. And I am glad you got good news. I hope and pray that you spend many more good years with your Dad.

La Belle Mere UK said...

Wow what a touching post Dreamgirl. I can't imagine how painful that must have been for you. I'm so glad that it was good news. I love the pictures of you and your dad to!

LBM xxx

Hit 40 said...

Your gift of time is priceless. No amount of money could ever replacement this gift.

Wonderful news!!

One Sassy Girl said...

Phew! I'm so so so happy for you and your dad. Makes me miss mine... I'll go call him :)

Cynthia at A Shimmy in My Spirit said...

What a beautiful post. I am so glad that you have more time with your Dad.

and thanks for coming by to visit.

Amy said...

I am so happy this was a great ending. I was in tears and became sad as I read. Then a smile came when I read the news,

mi-rachel said...

takk for særdeles kjekk kommentar på bloggen min.

Donna @ dh designs said...

What a wonderful gift for both of you! I am sure you will relish every moment! Time is truly a gift to all of us - one we to often take for granted - thanks for the reminder!

Donna @ dh designs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
koz-man said...

Glad to know things are better! Say hello to your man.

bluecottonmemory said...

Ow wow! My heart just goes out to you. Every girl should have a dad like yours! Sadly, I didn't, so I always tear up when I hear beautiful father-daughter stories like yours! I'll keep you guys in my prayers! Congrats on the good report!

{lorelailette<3} said...

Happy Saturday!!!

sharing love & sunflowers in the sharefest!!!

x
x
x

Lady SUnflower

Kitty said...

Such a touching post. My Dad is recovering from Cancer too. Bless you both.

Bea said...

What a wonderful story! I am happy for you and your dad! It is a wonderful gift, the gift of life. Cherish it.

Claudia said...

What wonderful news...such a beautiful post about you and your Dad and the good news about his health!

Bunny said...

A very moving story and am so happy that the end of the story was wonderful news. Bless you and your Dad. Cherish you time together I am sure you will.

thatgirlblogs said...

so happy for you and your Dad! fantastic news.

Som mine dager er said...

Why is it so ... that everytime I read your stories in your blog, it touches me on an emotional level. I guess it's because your so fantastic good with words. You really should consider to be an author. I really mean it!

Det er gode nyheter at pappa'n din er "frisk". Dere har mange år sammen og nyt hver eneste dag.

Jeg skjønner hvorfor jeg er så slik fan av bloggen din .... alt du skriver om gjør at vi lett kan kjenne oss igjen på alle områder. Mamma'n til Ivar har hatt kreft i 13 år og vi har fulgt håp og fortvilelse de siste årene. Det skal, bør, må helt gå bra. Akkurat som hos de kjære pappa.

Lørdagsklem fra Marit

Joanna Jenkins said...

The angels are singing!!!!
xo

Hannah said...

Your post was written so poignantly, I had a lump in my throat as I read it.

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Nadirah Angail said...

Saw you on SITS. That was beautiful. Family is soo precious. Im glad I stopped by.

Kristen said...

Oh. I am so sorry and so happy for you! Here's to the gift of time. And a wonderful father and man.

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